Two-faced people are more common than you think, and learning how to manage your relationships with them can be difficult.
Considering the nature of your relationship, you may want to consider keeping it all together. If that doesn't feel like a viable option, then what are your options?
Don't let yourself think that just because the person is the person, your only option is to ignore the behavior and go along with it. It's pretty much impossible to stay silent and smile during a conflict, not to mention it can impact your own sanity.
Choosing your words and actions carefully is a wise strategy, because there should also be a small breach of trust between you and the people you are dealing with.
Remember that their behavior is theirs and that you can only deal with your side of the conflict. These people often have low emotional intelligence.
You lack the ability to have thatintrospectionHe had to meet you halfway, but that doesn't mean you should carry his burden.
A two-faced person struggles to use the mirror. Essentially, this means they are unable to come to terms with the suggestion that they might be the cause of their own problem.
Unfortunately, when someone has two faces, they are committed to that role, even if they don't realize it. They use a chameleon mentality to deal with any situation that arises.
Understand the meaning and the cause
Let's dive into what exactly it means to be a two-faced person. When a person has two faces, it means they act and speak inauthentically depending on the audience.
In some cases, this is done to gain audience approval or loyalty. In other cases, it may be an issue with the other person.Self-esteem. Perhaps her self-esteem prevents her from acting and speaking truthfully.
self-esteem and own identity
When someone fights with hisown identity, this can often lead to character flaws and unacceptable behavior, even when unintentional.
Showing this kind of people empathy for their own inner struggles is a sign of strength on your part. However, this is not an excuse to tolerate questionable behavior that compromises your own integrity.
Also remember that it is not your job to diagnose or treat someone else's problem. You just have to learn what your problems are so you can foster onehealthy relationshipwith you.
people who don't darebe herselfoften defaults to the behavior of a two-faced person. This can occur both in the private and in the professional environment.
Sometimes people are too intimidated by a boss to stand up for their version of the truth at work. They choose to speak and act in ways that placate or please their boss.
This is a clear example of why people are encouraged to keep relationships with a colleague at work on a superficial level. Even if your colleague is also your best friend, maintaining a clear distance is often in your best interest.
While we are all responsible for our own behavior, words and actions, in some cases we are prompted to make these decisions by an outside source.
people who havetrust issues in relationships, and are generally closely watched, these topics affect the way most people interact with them.
A lack of trust can result in people simply agreeing, smiling, and nodding in conversations, even when they disagree. They are wary of expressing their true feelings and afraid of rejection. While this type of person firmly believes they are being cautious, they actually exhibit two-way behavior.
Recognize the signs of two-faced people
Sometimes rumors tell you about two-faced people, but sometimes you have to learn to identify those people yourself.
A person will never admit that they have two faces, so you have to learn to trust your gut.
Here are some key indicators that someone in your circle might be a fake friend and only playing with you:
- Chismoso:If yougossipabout other people in front of you, they will most likely gossip about you behind your back as well. It's incredibly rare for a leopard to change its spots, so beware if someone engages in negative rumors about another person with you.
- Disrespect:If they don't respect your time and point of view, be careful. People who have no regard for the rest of the world when it comes to people's time and personal lives are examples of people playing on both sides of the fence.
- Jealousy:That selfish qualityis directly in line with the two-faced people. Knocking someone out in their absence to win the affection of your current audience is textbook.
- Harassment:This is often a mask of insecurity and can quickly reveal a person's true colors.
How to avoid a disaster
Resist the urge to label these people as some kind of enemy. Allowing hatred to take over creates a ripple effect that is difficult to recover from, especially when the experience is unique and not typical of a person's usual actions.
Taking revenge on someone who cheated on you isn't the best way to confront a person's character.
When someone's character is wearing you down, it's time to act. Once you've identified the signals, you need to align your process with that information. If you decide to have a conversation, keep it private.
However, if that person is a colleague, you should inform your Human Resources department to help with placement and to ensure you are following company policies.
1. Get your stories to the point
If you noticed a third party, make sure all of your ducks are lined up. The last thing you want to do is ruin a relationship when you unknowingly spread lies.
Put aside your hatred of the situation and think pragmatically. Before you set up a meeting with the two-faced person in question, arm yourself with facts and do your best to remove emotion from the equation.
2. Be direct
At the moment, it can be tempting to deal with multiple issues at once, and it can be easy to get carried away in the heat of the moment. Try to be as calm and direct as possible.
This also creates an environment that encourages the other party to engage in a resolution rather than heighten their vigilance. Here are some examples of how to stay on topic:
- Please prepare yourself with written notes that you made independently of this meeting.
- Take a deep breath, thoughfeel angeror an emotional outburst coming
- Be respectful of your language and tone
3. Find a solution
When two opposing sides come together and find a good solution to a problem, it's called growth. When you approach your common problem as a team, you can both find the peace you needAdvance payment.
Pretending that this conflict will resolve itself is not a sufficient solution. Analyze what happened and listen as much as you speak.
Whatever events occurred should not carry as much weight as the solution.
Please note that an immediate response may not be in sight. Sometimes it takes multiple attempts to truly and fully resolve a conflict.
This is a good example of why some people endorse the phrase "slow and steady wins the race." It should be more important to you that a solution feels satisfying and genuine than the speed with which it was achieved.
Avoid the impulse to find bugs on areas that don't apply. Using "you" words instead of "I" sounds can create confusion as to the intent of your message.
Two-faced people are often great at dividing emotions and can dampen their willingness to solve the problem if they perceive it as an attack on themselves.
The battle of two faces is not your burden, and the only thing you can control is yourself. Nor can you pretend that you have not encountered problems because of your choices.
Create a model for dealing with friends who make you wonder what went wrong. Get an idea of who, what, when, where and why, understand different situations and try not to lump a set of events together.
Although these occurrences are frustrating at first, they can end up being very interesting as you benefit from the bigger picture.
Now, as you move forward with or without this person in your life, you are armed with tools to deal with a world that contains two-faced people.
Also, know the scope of the trait in general and how to identify it. The rest of your life doesn't have to depend on one person's bad deeds. It's up to you not to let that happen.
This can be a great motivation forfind gratitudefor those in your life who don't cause you that kind of hardship.
Appreciating loyal, honest, and genuine people both with and without your presence will help you see what it means to you to be a friend.
These are the ones that won't make you worry and wonder if your trust will be broken or they will force you to wear a mask around you to protect yourself emotionally.
At the end, look in the mirror and celebrate your inner strength and beliefs and the fact that you can trust your own head. Accept that people are not perfect and move on.